Lonely

Today I am extremely lonely. I wish that I was always busy, and always had plans. I get sick of sitting at home doing nothing. Its not any fun doing things by myself, because I just get to thinking and then feel worse about myself. I like texting, but sometimes I would just really like people to call me. I feel like a robot when I text. The only good thing about texting is that it can hide your emotions. If I am crying or upset, then no one knows it because they cant hear me. I maybe get to have a phone conversation with friends maybe once every 2 weeks. And the only reason I get that is because I tell the person I need to talk. I really dont think anyone would call unless I initiated it. I sometimes wonder if the reason why I dont get phone calls is because I am a broken record- always down, always complaining, and always negative. Who wants to hear that? So I guess its all my fault. One day I hope to have some kind of happiness in my life. One day?????????????????????